More than ever.....

More than ever before I have begun to peel back the layers of myself: what I thought I knew, who I thought I was.  Perhaps it’s the recognition of time; embarking slowly but surely into my mid-30’s – which has allowed me to reflect on my life thus far and also into the future.

More than ever before I am stepping unapologetically into my truth. I have craved this and began to accept that, it is only when I dig deep and strip away what is not benefiting me will my truths come to the surface.  They have no choice; I see that when my sense of self is layered with falseness, the purity that is me is tucked away.  And perhaps, for some parts of my life that was “necessary”, almost like a coping mechanism.  But perhaps in saying that, I am making excuses.   Regardless, I am valuing myself now more than ever and along with that, the acceptance of letting go what – if I can be honest – I knew deep down was not serving me.

More than ever I am aligning my passions with my daily life; my interactions, my daydreams, my work, my past-times, my relationships and so on.  I am making a true effort in recognizing and understanding deeply that my passions are not going to align with others, just as theirs I may not align with.  What I am understanding is that, that has zero significance in being a decent and compassionate human being.  It should take zero effort to be a kind person, regardless of one’s beliefs, ideas or stances; it should just be a natural process.  And yet, I have witnessed so much hate and anger, which I believe powerfully comes from a place of misunderstanding.  This misunderstanding comes from a place of ignorance, and I don’t say this to point the finger.  Rather, I intend to acknowledge and bring forth this idea that, when one does not align with another’s ideas or opinions, the popular alternative is to project anger and often downright hate.  I encourage us all (myself included – this is such a learning process) to recognize that, even when we don’t agree we can be respectful. One doesn’t have to “get” another’s points of views in order to say “I hear you, what you are saying and feeling is valuable – thank you for bringing that aspect to the subject.”  How profound – can you imagine if we all discussed our differences this way?

 More than ever I am realizing and owning my passions – and also realizing that these shift as I do.  This realization in itself could warrant an entire post, that would result in many pages surely, but for now I will say that I have been keenly aware of the injustices all around us.  School has opened my eyes to the many, many social injustices within our society.  More so, it has allowed me to become profoundly aware of my “blinders”; with no judgement, just awareness.  I have become very aware and passionate about compassion for all life – humans, animals, the environment. Truly, I have felt this welcoming shift towards recognizing the deep impact that our indifferences and ignorance has on each other as well as all other beings on earth.  These are teachings that cannot be un-taught, regardless of how hard it may be emotionally to understand.  I write these words because I have begun to understand where I was turning a blind eye, so to speak – and if you are ready and willing – I softly encourage you to do the same.  Not only am I recognizing the grave importance of stripping away my blinders to the injustices of the world, but also am I seeing the significance in understanding that, while we all certainly don’t come to the same conclusions, we can be soft but firm with our own deep-seated values.

More than ever I am realizing the importance of connecting with others in a deep and valuable way; in hearing their stances and views, acknowledging their fears and concerns, and holding space when needed, without any reservations or motives.  In addition, I am recognizing the value in protecting one self and understanding that not all situations, conversations or people in general may be in our best interest and that should be ok.  I am learning in my own experiences that, along with recognizing the value in (often painfully) stepping away from particular situations, there are often times in which others are going to do the same in regards to myself.  I am familiar with the old patterns of hurt that of course will rise to the surface.  However, I am also coming to be aware of the value for all involved in mindfully releasing expectations and also being ok with “agreeing to disagree” – how powerful!

 Ultimately, I am beginning to realize what an honour it is to have the time and resources available to ponder these notions, have these revelations and dig deeper into research and ideas that are lighting a fire within me.  What a blessing it is to not only begin to unravel my desires, goals and passions but to be able to do so in a safe, secure and information-bountiful space.  I ask you, friends – with the resources and time available to you, what lights your fire?