I had a sit with myself recently and asked a serious
question: ‘when I am older, hopefully rocking in a rocking chair alongside sweet
hubby and reflecting on my life thus far, what do I want to remember?’ Quite
easily being with my loved ones as much as possible was at the top of my list –
no brainer. However, I sat longer with
this question and 4 words came up effortlessly: dancing – writing – connecting –
nature.
As I sat on this longer, I realized that out of those 4
things, there isn’t one that I can confidently say I am delving into with all
my being. I connect with loved ones, but
not as much as I would like. Same goes
for connecting deep within. The same
with nature. Artistically, I love
writing but don’t do it nearly as much, unless it’s for a university
course. And dancing. Oh, dancing.
Aside from some kitchen ensembles, I don’t do that either. All four of these things give me such
joy. And so, as I reflected on this I
began to wonder why. What was it – physically
or mentally – that was preventing me from doing any of these things that makes
my heart soar?
Nothing. There is
nothing that I can confidently say is preventing me from allowing my heart to
soar with dancing, writing, connecting with people on a deeper level and being
in nature more. And at the same time,
somewhere along the way I have told myself that I need more to do these
things. Specifically, more time.
Our days are so full with so many wonderful things. I have been extremely blessed to be pursuing
school and a passion. I love that I can
volunteer my time and energy to beings and ideas that I love. I have begun working part time with
individuals that are so lovely and inspiring.
I teach yoga to amazing individuals who come back week after week who,
if I can be honest teach me more than I probably teach them. All of these incredible projects and people
that I get to spend my days with certainly take up a lot of time. But you know what? They don’t take it all. There is still time to dance and write and
connect and be in nature – perhaps even all in one afternoon! I don’t need to choose one over the other.
I don’t need to choose to be artistic over school. I don’t need to choose volunteering my time
over working for an income. I don’t need
to choose spending time with loved ones over sitting down and writing for half
and hour. For me, it is about sitting
with myself and truly understanding what is needed. Of course, many days require me to be
somewhere at certain parts of the day and that is perfectly fine. In fact, if I can be honest, it can be very
fulfilling and rewarding to devote some of my energy and time to other people
and projects in which my desires and needs are not at the core.
Being a part of something bigger; something in which we are
all contributing in our own way – what an incredible thing. To attend
university and be swept up in the hustle and bustle of life that appears way to
young for me, then to go home and tuck in my children and read them a book –
how incredible is that? While it has
certainly taken some adjusting to wearing “many hats” and there are many a’
days in which I allow feelings of overwhelm to sweep over me, I allow myself to
acknowledge that those feelings are legit and are asking something of me – to
listen.
Typically, it means stepping
back from something for a little bit and I have been learning to be ok with
that.
There is a way to say ‘no’ in a
loving and kind way, especially when it means I am staying authentic in
myself. As a self-proclaimed “people
pleaser” I too often can say ‘yes’ to things that I know in my heart are not
feasible. What ends up happening is
disappointment: from myself for not respecting and listening to my gut, and
often from the other party for not being able to fully commit and/or having to
back out last minute.
It is never worth burning the candle from both ends. Instead, I am embracing the soft, vibrant
light from within – the sort of light that is flickering comfortingly and
encouragingly – reminding me that, I can and deserve to pursue my passions
while also embracing the flow of life. There
doesn’t need to be a choice between one or the other. Some days I might choose to wear my student
hat, other days my yoga teacher hat, and perhaps other days it’s all about the
dance hat, adorned with a sweat band and leg warmers of course.
Either way, the choice is mine. What a beautiful thing. At the end of the day, the choice is ours.
I encourage you to
find your balance between your amazing passions and your source of income (if
they don’t happen to align at this moment) and be ready to step into your
authentic self.
I am feeling very
inspired by a wonderful woman on YouTube named Maria Forleo, in which she recently
talks of this very thing; of balancing work and passion. I know for myself I have gotten caught up in
finding work that is both. While that is
happening slowly for me, that may not and certainly hasn’t always been the
case.
It may not always be possible (at
least right away) to find work in a space in which you feel extremely
passionate. Don’t give up on your
passions. I encourage you deeply to keep
taking those art classes, the horse back riding lessons – whatever it is that
fuels your fire.
The world needs
janitors, appliance repair people, store clerks and arborists. We also need doctors, entrepreneurs of all types,
inspirational writers and screen actors.
We are all intertwined in this web of connectedness and every chance we
are handed to connect, I want to be able to.
Further, the world needs passion, I feel deeply now more
than ever. We need to see and be inspired
and awed by dentists who are also incredible mimes, school teachers who are
also theatre actors and street sweepers who are also healers.
We need to recognize in ourselves and others
that, we have so many shiny, amazing and inspiring sides, similar to a
crystal. Each part of us shines its own
light and doesn’t find the need to compete with the other. It just does its things – being amazing and
authentic. That is what we need.
So, beloved people – I ask you to embrace all the amazing
parts of yourself. I ask you to sit and
think about your passions that you may not presently be fulfilling. And instead of being hard on yourself or
finding all the reason why you haven’t, I encourage you to think of that one
amazing reason why it may be worth stepping into. By saying ‘yes’ to taking a bit of extra time
to live your passion (even an hour a week!), think of the people you will
likely inspire: your colleagues, your family, your children – yourself.
Lots of Love
Ange
