Lately I have been stepping into something incredible –
something that has proven already to be so beyond what I imagined. It has allowed me to truly embrace the juicy
bits of myself – and has encouraged me not to label any part: no good, no bad,
no so-so, no can be better. Just this
delicious, vibrant amazingness. I have
stepped into myself.
Thinking of it now, it seems almost as if I have literally
stepped into my being – I can see this imagery of my true, authentic self
standing beside my body – watching with love and being ever so patient. This body that has endeared so much – growth,
pregnancy, childbirth, the repercussions of an anxious mind. This body that has
been crying out for a long time to be heard – to be recognized – to be
loved. And so, somewhere between fine
tuning my academic skills (into my second semester of my first year of
university!) and stopping to feel the pause between each inhale and exhale, I
came home to myself.
In this time, my journey has remained as it has always been-
mine. However, now I am much more aware
of what is hidden beautifully between the lines. And really, when I stop to fully ponder it,
it would appear that it has never been hidden – rather, it has been waiting for
me to acknowledge its beautiful presence since I have been here on earth – just
like my true self has been waiting. For really,
they are one in the same. This “hidden” piece
of the beautiful Angela puzzle is this: I am enough. I am enough.
I AM ENOUGH.
How beautiful are
those three words? How differently they
look to me now. How differently they
sound as I utter them – first as a quiet rumble, then erupting into full blown
howling. You are enough. We are enough.
I will absolutely no longer apologize for my feelings. I will not succumb to others emotions,
thoughts or feelings about me or anyone else that do not reflect my own
truth. I will not spend any more of my
beautiful physical existence on this earth worrying/obsessing/wondering how I
am viewed or perceived. No more.
What I want to focus on is what I DO want – what I CAN have. As I have been incredibly aware of lately is
that, in order to fully achieve my deepest desire’s and goals, it is beneficial
for me to focus on what I DO want in this life.
Not what I don’t want – for, wherever we send our energy, the universe
matches and sends us more of. So, in
saying that I don’t want something, I may actually be creating more of it. That beautiful tidbit of deliciousness is
sitting very powerfully with me right now.
And so. I actively
CHOOSE to participate in a life of pure gratitude and love. – first and
foremost for myself. I shower myself
until I am soaking wet with a sparkling white light that is completely
saturated with love, acceptance, honour and respect. I choose to live in a world in which I am
attracted to like minded people, but I also accept and love and appreciate
those that have different opinions than mine, for those people tend to be the
best teachers in this life.
I choose to
surround myself with people, energy and vibrations that match my own. I choose
to live a life in which I have the self love and confidence to walk my own path
- confident in its often quick and unexpected turns and twists.
I shower those I love and hold dear to my
heart with constant love and gratitude.
I believe in myself enough to step back when the time is asking for it,
to lovingly examine where I currently am, and if it is still speaking to my
soul. I will love with a deep fierceness.
I will dance crazy, I will sing loudly and I
will swear like a mother fucker. I will
pull up my leg warms, adjust my over sized t shirt and belt along to Stevie Nicks,
if the feeling is strong to do so.
I will appreciate my pale legs, freckly face and knobbly
elbows. I will love my small breasts,
cellulite bum and pointy chin. Every
inch of my physical body matches my thoughts, my vibrations. And I can say, that currently my vibrations
are SCREAMING to be heard. I can feel
this stirring inside me that is saying: now!
No more time to wait. Those
dreams and goals that I talk about, think about, write about: they are
waiting NOW. I am listening, sweet soul.
I am finally listening.
